A recent ad made the point that voting is private. Some find the ad controversial
Voting secretly is a cornerstone of democracy. The secret ballot dates back to the late 1800s and when votes are counted, no one should be able to connect the way you voted back to you. It’s one of the reasons behind the current controversy swirling around Utah County clerk Aaron Davidson, who has tracked how elected officials returned their ballots. Current Utah County Commissioner Amelia Powers Gardner, herself a former county clerk, said people are worried that if he is isolating ballots, he may also be looking at ballots, a worry that Davidson calls ridiculous.
It’s that right to a private ballot that is at the center of a controversial ad released this week by “Vote Common Good.” Narrated by Julia Roberts, the ad tells women that their vote is private and encourages them to vote for Kamala Harris. Some were outraged at the ad. There was outrage on the left that such an attitude still exists, and mixed outrage on the right, with some saying the ad was condescending and “patronizing to women,” some saying that the ad encourages women to lie to their spouse and some espousing the idea that of course women would vote the way their husbands told them to.
First, let’s be clear. When women are afraid of what their husbands will do because of who they vote for, they are not in a safe, supportive relationship. Help is available.
Next: for the Republicans who scoffed that such an attitude exists, well, social media makes it obvious that the attitude of requiring women’s obedience and subservience is alive and well. One social post by a pastor with 113,000 followers on X proclaimed, “In a Christian marriage, a wife should vote according to her husband’s direction. He is the head and they are one. Unity extends to politics. This is not controversial,” he concludes.
In a follow-up tweet, he clarifies that women are only to be submissive to their husband when he is not sinning — and then equates voting for Democrats with sin.
Jesse Waters, a Fox News host, said on his show earlier this week that if he found out that his wife secretly voted for Harris, “That’s the same thing as having an affair.
“That violates the sanctity of our marriage,” he said, adding that it “would be D-day.” The utter irony, of course, is that he is married to his second wife, after beginning an affair with her while he was still married to his first wife.
Rightwing commentator and activist Charlie Kirk said the ad is “the embodiment of the downfall of the American family” for a wife to “undermine” her husband in the voting booth. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich called the ad an example of the “depth of their corruption” and demonstrates an “astonishing” level of decay.
Here’s the thing. It’s not just women who choose to keep their vote private. Polling from YouGov released this week found that while 1 in 8 women said they had voted differently from their partners in the past without telling them, 1 in 10 men also said they secretly voted differently than their partner.
There are also plenty of online reactions to the ad that are supportive of “One voter, one vote.” Former Utah House Representative Adam Gardiner said, “I have been involved in politics my entire life. I have been a Christian my entire life. My wife has been a Christian her entire life. If I told her how to vote and demanded it as a Christian duty to her husband she would, very lovingly, kill me.” (Just kidding about the killing, of course.)
The bottom line for me is this: voting is a sacred right. I do not take it for granted, nor do I give up my decision-making abilities to someone else. Nor should you. My husband and I usually know who the other is voting for, but not always. Sometimes we cancel each other out. Often, we agree.
Ronald Reagan said, “The right to vote is the crown jewel of American liberties, and we will not see its luster diminished.”
That right extends to all eligible voters. I’m not telling you who to vote for. What I am saying is that you can and you should vote for who you think is the better candidate. It’s your right.
